After having some privacy/security issues involving our adoption I had to take down our family blog and adoption blog, so this is the NEW blog which will hopefully remain uncompromised so we can continue sharing our family's story. Names will be changed and I may not be reposting old blog posts but if you've been following us for a while you know the story.
We moved from our beautiful desert home to the even more beautiful Pacific Northwest 3 weeks ago and have settled in great. All our kiddos did great on the trip and we have a nice big beautiful home for everyone to run crazy and hopefully grow bigger in. All the kids are adjusting, they are resilient little warriors, we're so proud of them. The best part of the move was that "Hudson" is already has been receiving high level specialty care at the nearby hospital and we are moving very fast getting consults,tests and possible diagnosis, it's been awesome to have him being taken care of by so many great doctors.
Hudson's immune system is doing great, enough so to take him off the strong antibiotic that was helping protect him against HIV related pneumonia that he has suffered a few times in the past. This is GREAT news because it means his body is getting stronger, his viral loads are going down and his CD4 count is consistently getting higher/stabilizing. He has been progressing on a fast track since we brought him home July 31 and just last week he started crawling on all fours. He's into all kinds of things now, is getting bigger and we're happy to see how far he's come in such a short time.
We're just now skimming the surface of his special needs though and it's an emotional time. While we're so happy and excited for him to be getting care and for the "work" to begin in getting him better and on the right track...... the medical facts about his conditions are sometimes scary,depressing and just exhausting. Right now I'm just going to list off his medical needs because lots of people have been asking and we need lots of people praying specifically about them.
* premature birth, born at 4lbs 12 oz
*HIV+, which may have caused HIV encephalitis (which is a whole big thing on it's own)
*severe illnesses requiring multiple hospitalizations in early infancy
*failure to thrive & malnutrition
*microcephaly
*severe global developmental delays
*neglect of unknown proportion in birthhome until 15 months old
*strong possibility of cerebral palsy
*strong possibility of autism spectrum disorder
*prenatal exposure to alcohol,cigarettes and possibly drugs
* and God only knows what else, but hopefully that's IT.
Did you just say "Holy crap!"? ( and I try not to say that but it just kinda slips out when staring at that list).
Yes, it's an enormous,overwhelming amount of WHOA to deal with. Some of it we knew when we picked him up, other things have started coming out of the woodwork since then. We are sad for Hudson, he should have had a different start in life. We believe he is fearfully and wonderfully made, but all those things listed above are because of someone else's bad choices and the consequences of those choices and that's also very hard to process. As his new mom it breaks my heart and makes me angry with a HOLY ANGER that he has been served this injustice. But I also believe even more so in God's faithfulness and healing. Hudson may never be a typically functioning child. I have felt that since the day I met him. But with loving care , professional assistance and the healing that comes only from Heaven..... he'll be alright. Define "alright"? I can't even put words to it right now. We are adjusting to our new normal, there's moments of great grieving, terrible frustration, immense anger, total helplessness ,disbelief and even doubt. There's also moments of great hope,joy and STILLNESS. He's home. He's safe. He's fed and warm. He's loved on, cuddled,kissed,tickled,played with, read to, prayed over,cried over,he smiles, he watches his siblings,he pulls the wipies out of the wipie box, he will lean in for kisses occasionally. He KNOWS he's being taken care of here. It's evident in the change of his demeanor since we came home. He knows we are his family. He's no longer fatherless. He has parents who only want the best for him and who will fight for him and defend him.He's ours.
All those things overshadow his diagnosis. All those things make this hard,hard road worth it. All those things tell us we did the right thing. Our God is Mighty To Save and we are so thankful He delivered Hudson out of his previous life and into our family. We don't feel worthy of the honor to be his parents and be a part of his story in redemption and healing.
Please pray for Hudson, we have a ton of specialty appointments, including a sedated MRI coming up in the next 6 weeks. Pray for the doctors to have wisdom and that they'll find absolute diagnosis so we can know what we're dealing with and get on with it. Most of all pray for divine healing on Hudson, on his brain specifically.
Thank you for all your support over these months of transition, we are so thankful for the friends and family members we have who been an amazing source of encouragement and helpfulness to us.
